we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
