we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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