Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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