none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
