My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
