wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
