cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize