I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize