Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
