I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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