i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
