well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
