Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize