yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
