Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
