OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
