Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
