I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize