He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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