Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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