Best friends brother. Beat that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You pole danced in your parka.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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