but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
