Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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