Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
