K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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