i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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