Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
