if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
