Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize