Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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