So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
