I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
