new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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