i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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