I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
