I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
