Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
