have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
