i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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