I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
