I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
