Got a toothbrush?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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