The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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