Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
