We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
