Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
