I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
North Korea, Best Korea!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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