We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
