I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
