Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Two words: nipple clamps
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