fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
