Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize