CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
