You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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