I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
