ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
